ii yandu-ni ukai na mutigoke na kuria ndi. Njiriga kuandika rurenda-ini ruru uhoro wa insha yandikitwo ni murata wakwa uguitwo Mbogo turi cukuru. Ndiracokire kuminyita ndumiirwo ni murata ungi iri ta marua ma ruhuho (email). Nguiciria ni mundu wamikobirie akianjia kumituma na email
Email iyo yathire kinya igikinya kameme. Riu he kibindi kirehaguo ni Wanjiru wa Chege na Mike Ruua muthenya wa gatano (Friday) Kameme-ini gitaguo, "Mugithi wa Kameme". Ndamiiguire igithomwo hau ritwa kwa ritwa!

Wa Wakuru,
Onanii ni ndiratumiirwo email iyo na ndirendaga kuuria kanda iyo irandumiire nikii kiratumire iike 'copy n paste' kuuma kikuyu.com

kik.com imepamba moto! ndiyo mambo yote!!!

Translation

Preacher: Ninyi Wavulana
Translaror: Inyuĩ mwĩna maburana
Preacher: Mnajua ya kwamba
Translaror: Mwĩna njũũa cia kwamba
Preacher: Mungu atakuja
Translaror: Ngai nĩagacikũũnja

Somebody remind me chronology and some lines of this oldskool translation

Preacher: Good morning
Translaror: Igai ngundi moni-ini
Preacher: My name is Livingstone
Translaror: Rĩtwa nĩ kahiga ka ũtũũro
Preacher: I come from Argentina
Translaror: Nyumĩĩte kũũrĩa itina-inĩ rĩa Wanja
Preacher: I saw a woman from Canada
Translaror: Nĩnyonire mũtumia ena kaana nda
Preacher: I passed through Johannesburg
Translaror: Nĩngereire kũrĩa kamũhuko-inĩ ka Johana
Preacher: Whats the matter
Translaror: Mũtuĩre-i mata
Preacher: Good buy
Translaror: Ngundi gũrai

Sajini,

This has made my day. There are a thousand and one versions of this oldskool translation. Sample this one.

Preacher: My name is Richard Turnbull
Translator: Ritwa ni Njagathi Kigariura Ndegwa

Preacher: I come from Singapore
Translator: Oimite ithinga ini ria Bauru (paul)

Preacher: I passed through Moscow in Russia
Translator: Ni agereire kwa muchiku na atiga aracia

Preacher: I came by a Volkswagen
Translator: Okire na muthige wa ageni

Preacher: Here, I can see you use camel
Translator: Guku ni ndirona ni mutumagira Kamero

Preacher: Jesus will come back soon
Translator: Jesu ni agakama baka na thuni

Preacher: Haleluya?
Translator: Hari na ruhia? (Meaning muratina)

Preacher: He will carry the chosen few
Translator: Ni agakua Susan biu

Preacher: He will take them to Paradise.
Translator: Ni a kamutwara barandaini

Preacher: I am heading to Angola, Italy, Congo, and Madagascar
Translator: Riu ndina mutwe, No agora itari kiongo, na ma Ndagathika.

Nyumba

Ni mukunjuraga ni kunjegeka.

Thayu nyumba

This message has been edited. Last edited by: kariuki wa kariuki,

sajini na Ngunjiri,
murorathimwo ni kurehe githeko kwa uingi.

Riara,
Rathimwo muno ni mathekania macio. Thekete ngenda gukahuka iniuru. Who else has another version of this oldskool joke?

Sajini

Ii reke tucokaniririe jokes ici cia kihujio. Twahota uguka na thamoni ya nuthu ithaa.

Nyumba bring you versions. we might combine them and see what we can come up with.

Mahunjio makwa ni meguka kahinda gatari cooho. Watch this space...

Ngunjiri

I am watching with both eyes. Wandirikania karugano keragwo atiri:

Thii waniririe na hau kianda

waigua huuu
weherere

waigua kurukurukurukurukuru
Wanaririe

Ndeyuria atiri.

Wa gakuru agiigua kurukurukurukuru aya kuga niwe uretwo.

Ngunjiri
Ninjetereire 'version' yaku ya mathekania ma muhunjia na mutabuti. Nguikara njuthiriirie thibici iyo.

No ciira uciragwo na ungi, turi o hau tondu niwe wa kuuma Rware-ri, unjiire kana wanaigwa rugano rwa muthungu na kanda ya Chinga.

Ndathomete ibuku-ini uhoro wa muthungu wathiite mutitu kuhita nyamu cia githaka. Riu muthungu ucio akiri na muciinga wake na kanda ya moko ya kuuma Chinga.

Mari mutitu muthungu niakionire nyamu yake nake akimuhura rithathi, agicooka akiira kanda yake

"wachilia mbwa"

Tondu kanda ndioi Githwairi ndiarugiire uria yerirwo kuogu igicokia;

"I bwana ni ngamatite no kigathi ireketie'

Tondu muthungu ndanyitire uria kanda irauga akirakara nginya akimiira

"wewe mjinga"

Kanda yakwa niyakamirio ni uhoro ucio, na tondu ndieriite muthungu yumiite Chinga, ikiambiriria gwiciiria;

"Ii kai muthungu no ta Ngai nginya nioi gwitu ni Chinga"

Mundu uiguite rugano ruu no anunge haria ndogoma. Mutikoorie nikii ndirariganirwo uguo ni ukuru urahuura huti.

Sajini,

handu guririkana no ati kanda iyo yokite icereiro. Na ni kamumenyero yari nako gagucererwo. Ni ui ithui Agikuyu tutimenya mathaa wega? Hindi iria Kanda yokire ndereti ciahanaga ta uu.

muthunga: Wewe unachelewa kira mara
Kanda: kai muthungu no ta Ngai, ekumenya ati ndacererwo ngiria mara, na nda ndikiri na gicicio.

Riara na Sajini,
he he he!!! kai murikuririkana karugano ga tene i! lol!! ii kweri uguo niguo gathiaga kau ga kanda iyo ya Chinga.

Tondu mugikuyu oigire kirikaniro ni thiri ri, mahunjio maria ndiramuiriire mahana ta uu:
(Source: "Pastor Kihenjo" by Kihenjo, Nairobi: Mangoma Productions, 2005)

Pastor: Halleluya
Kihenjo: Hari ruhia
Pastor: Good morning all of you
Kihenjo: Muriega inyuothe ngundi cia moni
P: Before I address you, I am going to tell you my name
K: Mbere ya ndimurutite nguo, ningumuira uria njitaguo
P: And what I do
K: Na haria nduragia ndu
P: My name is John Richard Turnsbull
K: Ritwa riakwa ni Joni Njagathi Ndume ngaruranie
P: And I come from Johannesburg
K: Na nyumite kamuhoko-ini ka johana
P: And when I was coming, I came with my car morris marina
K: Na riria ngukamaga, na ninjukire na kamori gakwa na niko maina
P: I docked it at Kilindini
K: Na ndagatiga kirindi-ini
P: Amen
K: Umene
P: And now
K: Andu nao
P: Welcome
K: Ukai tukame
P: And be in peace
K: Na njuki minji-ini
P: When I was preaching in synagogue
K: Riria ndirahunjiagiria theru na magogo
P: I said, you should not commit adultery
K: Ngiuga, ndukanakome wiyandatariritie
P: I also said, you should not do abortion
K: Agicoka akiuga, ndukanaturie ndu mboco-ini
P: I went through Singapore
K: Ndathiira kwa bauru ruthingo-ini
P: I met people there suffering from tetanus and kwashiokor
K: Ndakora andu maruarite itende na thii haria kariakoo
P: And they looked hungry
K: Na mahanaga ta ngiri
P: I gave them blue band
K: Ngimahe nyoni cia mburuu
P: And from here I will go to Angola Italy Congo and Madagascar
K: Na riu kuma gutu angora itari congo ma ndagathika
P: I came with my brother Dalamere
K: Na ndoka na muruamaitu na ndaramia
P: And my sister Anastacia
K: Na mwari wa maitu ona ti ta atia
P: And my mother was the first leader in Kenya
K: Nake maitu niwe wari wa mbere guikia irinda Kenya.
P: For those who do not know my father
K: Aria matoi baba
P: He was the first commander in chief
K: Niwe wari wa mbere gukoma na nda gwa cibu
P: I met Jonathan
K: Twacuna thani.
P: I met Karl Peters
K: Twarehe mbito
P: Jihatharini
K: Mwihithei thara-ini
P: Mhubiri wa leo, alikuwa ni Wilberforce Mulamba
K: Muhumbiri wa mirio umuthi ni hurumbaru ikuite miramba
P: Kwa wale wameokoka ninawashukuru
K: Na inyui mwokoka mucoke cukuru
P: Wazee nawashukuru, wamama nawashukuru
K: Athuri mucoke cukuru, atumia mucoke cukuru
P: Na sitatosheka kamwe
K: Na ndina tochi o imwe.
P: Na huu ndio wakati wako mzuri wa kutoa ushuhuda
K: Gaka niko kahinda gaku kega ga kuruta ucuru nda
P: Na hivyo ndivyo ilivyo
K: Na uguo niguo ndubia iri hiu
P: Enough is enough
K: Mainabu ni mainabu
P: And now, lets go
K: Andu nao, rehei ngu!


he he he he he!!! mahunjio mau nimangenagia muno riria ndamathikiriria. Kwanza haha:

And be in peace
K: Na njuki minji-ini (ha ha ha!! This is the funniest part)

Sajini,riara,Ngunjiri .

munngenetie ngonwo ria gituri

Onanii ningumuhariria kamwe ka mwaka ,mutigathenge haha!

Wagithuri tuguikara orohaha. Ndaigua mundu woria munyanyawe atiri:

"Kana kana kana, gakana kana ga kana, kana ga kana gakana?"

Ndageria gutaura kiuria kiu na kimoni-moni kiarema. Tageriai tuone no ugutihia.