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Age difference in married couples
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I would really like to know your views on what you consider the "ideal" age gap between a husband and his wife. A friend and his fiancé have an age gap of 15 years, with the man having 4 children. She is 26.


“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen - Hebrews 11:1
 
Posts: 35 | Location: Nairobi | Registered: 13 March 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"Ithe wa Njeri"
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.....age ain nothing but a number. the major and most importannt thing between husband and wife is HAPPINESS. if a couple is happier, then everything else comes second.

i wouldnt advocate for a mbugua- wambui age difference thing. I think Men should be the ones to get corncerned about age.





CONFIDENCE is trying to fart when you are suffering fron diarrhoea ... Robert Mugabe
 
Posts: 3729 | Location: Kiamatawa | Registered: 19 May 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"ITHE WA JEDIDAH"
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wambui age is nothing. there are some inner elements which r more important than age like faithfulness,trust,luv and most of all understanding in the family so to me as wamaitu i have no issue with age but that does not mean i can go for a 102 yrs old woman or 4 yrs old gal


"say what u mean, mean what u say, but don't say it mean."
 
Posts: 1061 | Location: murang'a | Registered: 16 December 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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much as i agree that happiness is all that matters, there are alot of things that contribute to happiness that are related to age and affect couples/marriages either positively or/and negatively. things like level of maturity which encompasses understanding and which to me is one of the most important ingredients of a happy marriage.. and also age related in most cases cannot be ignored... but then again by the time you decide to marry someone, you must have known them well enough to gauge their level of maturity, understanding etc.
guess all am trying to say is age is important, biologically (reproduction) etc, take this example, an old guy might be very mature for a young lady and which is good, but what happens when she gets a baby and he is like 60 or 70 and cant be quite the dad you want for your kid and he ends up being more of a guka than a dad? what about life expectancy? but then kipendacho roho at the end of the day.


"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
 
Posts: 1497 | Location: Guku ni kuu? | Registered: 21 February 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I agree with the notion that happiness, maturity etc are key in a good marriage. I also agree with you waKariuki about maturity and age being related. In my case however, the guy has lived most of his life - already has 4 kids from another relationship. The lady will now be thrust into motherhood - albeit willingly - to take care of the kids. Isn't that a little off? I stand to be corrected.


“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen - Hebrews 11:1
 
Posts: 35 | Location: Nairobi | Registered: 13 March 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"ITHE WA JEDIDAH"
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wambui there is a saying which says u luv me,u luv ma dog so there is no way u can say u luv me n u hate part of me period!


"say what u mean, mean what u say, but don't say it mean."
 
Posts: 1061 | Location: murang'a | Registered: 16 December 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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That is so true, wamaitu...


“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen - Hebrews 11:1
 
Posts: 35 | Location: Nairobi | Registered: 13 March 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"Ithe wa Njeri"
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am with you on that one!! but ladies are weak when it comes to making such decisions.
why is it that when men catch their spouses cheating on them,they kick them out while women cry out and eventually forgive them? is it to show the other woman that 'am still the queen'?
Wa maitu, if you ever get yourself in such a situation what would you do? be real!!





CONFIDENCE is trying to fart when you are suffering fron diarrhoea ... Robert Mugabe
 
Posts: 3729 | Location: Kiamatawa | Registered: 19 May 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
am with you on that one!! but ladies are weak when it comes to making such decisions.
why is it that when men catch their spouses cheating on them,they kick them out while women cry out and eventually forgive them? is it to show the other woman that 'am still the queen'?

that i strongly disagree with!! women are alot stronger than they are given credit but thats not the point here, point is, when women love, they do and oh so much, they also understand men have their weaknesses, but dont we all? but it doesent mean that if one trips and falls, they cant wake up again and move on.. see my point? guess women have big hearts, forgiving too, can u imagine what the world would be like if we all behaved like men? the word consistence would not exist! and its also true, if you love a guy with 4 kids, then you have to love his kids as well. thats why they sang, take me as i am.... i mean you know he has the kids, you either take him as he is or leave him altogether! if you chose to take him, then accept the whole package and make the best out of it!


"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
 
Posts: 1497 | Location: Guku ni kuu? | Registered: 21 February 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"ITHE WA JEDIDAH"
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Originally posted by kariuki wa kihia**:
am with you on that one!! but ladies are weak when it comes to making such decisions.
why is it that when men catch their spouses cheating on them,they kick them out while women cry out and eventually forgive them? is it to show the other woman that 'am still the queen'?
Wa maitu, if you ever get yourself in such a situation what would you do? be real!!


Kihia a man is not meant to be looking back u remeba the story of LOT in the bible? women r weak n they r that not by mistake but with a purpose coz imagine woman r like men? all men cld be divorced kama wewe sijui how many times


"say what u mean, mean what u say, but don't say it mean."
 
Posts: 1061 | Location: murang'a | Registered: 16 December 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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People, let's assume that both the man and the woman in this case are unattached. The man is divorced and supports 4 kids from his previous relationship, while the lady was previously unattached. With the experience of the man....is this a case of cradle-snatching or good old-fashioned love?


“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen - Hebrews 11:1
 
Posts: 35 | Location: Nairobi | Registered: 13 March 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"Ithe wa Alvin"
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my view is that maturity is mental rather than numeric,so as long as a balance is struck between the two thenall can go well.As for a person having children from another relationship is a different ball game all together,he could have fathered the children but not necessarily parented the kids.for a person to take another persons kids and love trhem as her own...thats takes a big heart and God's favour upon the person


Utarugaga egwatagia nja iina mahiga!
 
Posts: 902 | Location: nairobi wira:erondoreti kwa mami na baba | Registered: 05 May 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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People, let's assume that both the man and the woman in this case are unattached. The man is divorced and supports 4 kids from his previous relationship, while the lady was previously unattached. With the experience of the man....is this a case of cradle-snatching or good old-fashioned love?

now that is very tricky, someone once said there is a thin love btw love and foolishness, so you have to be very careful especially in such cases. ask yourself, this is a woman he married and stayed with for all those years and they have 4 kids but they have still divorced... what makes you think it will work much better? (i know my reasoning is debatable) but thats just my opinion am sure someone else might beg to differ which is okay.
they also say micii ituragio ni gukiraniriria, if he did not gukiririria with his ex wife what are the chances he will with you?
you stand to lose more in such a r/ship that you stand to gain coz of the kids as well, i know this might sound selfish (am sorry if it does) but just for the sake of debate, you are young, newly married, you want to have fun even before you get your own kids but no, you wont coz you have to take care of 4 kids! (you are the mother after all, so you worry while he works) you really have to love him sooooooooooo much to put up with all that.
Bishop, whats your take on this?


"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
 
Posts: 1497 | Location: Guku ni kuu? | Registered: 21 February 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Wa kariuki,

Well said


"Unless a boy dies young, he surely shall partake of the bearded meat" - Chinua Achebe
 
Posts: 768 | Location: Kabul, Afghanistan | Registered: 09 January 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Wa kariuki,

Well said

professor jubatus? (i have even forgotten the spelling) how are you today?
so we think alike? (like in the phrase great minds?


"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
 
Posts: 1497 | Location: Guku ni kuu? | Registered: 21 February 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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