Please say a prayer for the mother and child.


Mother in agony over missing child

Story by WALTER MENYA
Publication Date: 11/8/2007
For seven days in a row Ms Zainabu Otieno’s eyes have remained wet following the disappearance of her two-year-old daughter with her househelp.

To Zainabu, the joy of motherhood has been suspended until daughter Fauziah Abubakar is traced.


Ms Zainabu Otieno, whose daughter has been missing since her househelp disappeared with her on Novemeber 1.
“I wish she was of the age that can talk so that she could tell people that the maid is not her mum,” says Zainabu, tears rolling down her cheeks.

The househelp, with who she stayed for only 10 days, took off with Fauziah on November 1 and is yet to be traced.

This happened only a few days after Fauziah was discharged from hospital where she had been admitted.

Zainabu, 31, an administrative secretary in Kisumu, had left the house in the morning as usual, unaware that her joy as a mother would be interrupted.

A spare key

“I came back at lunch time but I found the door locked though I had cautioned the maid against leaving the house, since I did not have a spare key,” she said.

The househelp was nowhere to be seen and the first thing that came to her mind was that she might have taken Fauziah back to hospital after her condition worsened.

But why did she not inform her? This question kept nagging her all through the afternoon.

Zainabu’s case raises the question how safe children are in the hands of house girls.

Zainabu left the house and returned to work, hoping to see her daughter in the evening.

Evening came and passed and there was no sign of either the househelp or Fauziah. Several evenings have since gone by.

Her mind was racing. Could Fauziah be the latest victim of child theft ring?

Zainabu reported the matter to Railways police station in Kisumu.

Shortly before 10pm, somebody called to inform her that the househelp had been spotted with Fauziah at Kiboswa, the boundary town of Kisumu and Vihiga districts.

Since that day, she has travelled between Kisumu and Vihiga on countless occasions in search of her daughter.

Early last month, NTV aired a tearful reunion of a mother and her daughter who had been abandoned by a maid in the streets of Nairobi.

The baby girl had been picked up by a Good Samaritan late in the evening at Kencom bus stop.

The girl had been abandoned at the bus stop by a househelp, who disappeared soon after.

The person who came to the girl’s rescue took her to Nation Centre where her plight was aired on NTV prime news that evening.

In 2005, a househelp in Kisumu killed her employer’s babies and escaped. The parents had left for work as usual, leaving the school-going children under the care of the girl.

She left the bodies on a bed. She was later arrested and taken to court. The case is yet to be concluded in court.

These are just a few of the cases involving househelps and children. Many more go unreported.

Househelps have been accused of defiling, torturing and committing many more horrible acts on children left under their care, according to the Federation of Women Lawyers (Fida) Kenya Chapter.

Parents’ dilemma

They have on several occasions colluded with their agents to steal from their employers. It is a dilemma that working parents have to deal with on a daily basis.

Every morning, as parents leave for work, their minds are never settled until they get back home in the evening to find their children alive and safe.

So, how safe are children in the hands of maids? Who would you trust to take care of your child in your absence?

For many a parent, the security and health of the child is the ultimate. Each parent’s wish is to provide these needs personally although sometimes employment takes precedence.

In such a case, acquiring the services of a househelp comes as the only option. Many are the instances that girls have overdosed children with drugs and left them for dead.

Ms Patricia Nyaundi, a lawyer with the Fida, says that children are most at risk from persons they stay with, especially the domestic workers.

This, she attributes to the closeness with these people, who with time, take advantage of the children’s innocence.

Ms Nyaundi says that househelps develop rogue tendencies due to lack of professional training, abuse by the boss and poor wages.

“This is a vicious cycle. The man of the house may abuse a maid sexually and the maid will look for the vulnerable in the house to vent her frustrations,” she said.

Are untrustworthy

Zainabu now says househelps are not reliable and should only be left with bigger children.

To her, they are untrustworthy and “the more you treat them kindly, the more they are ready to disappoint.”

“For me, it is over with maids and I am not interested at all in employing another one,” she states.

She has her preference though. Househelps who are mothers are better than those without, since they have the experience of motherhood.

“Such employees can teach you a lot about the intricacies of feeding and generally handling the child,” she says.

Mary Anyango, a mother of five, prepares her school-going children packed lunch although their school is only a stone’s throw from their house.

Underfeed them

Before that, the children would complain of hunger since the househelp used to underfeed them or send them back to school without giving them food.

She advises other parents not to trust househelps completely especially if they do not know their backgrounds.

Relatives are usually the alternative, but even they have become untrustworthy and security risk.

Many are the instances when relatives have physically or sexually abused children under their care.

Cases of uncles or aunts sexually molesting children are not uncommon.

Even the Sexual Offences Bill has done little to deter these beastly acts.

http://www.nationmedia.com/dailynation/nmgcontententry...._id=39&newsid=110121

This is so sad i wonder what can be done in future to protect other babies who have to go thru house-help's care especially in areas where daycares and not popular infact they dont just exist at all!!
it can be so worrying for all parents out there...

Are traditional maids really necessary?Are there daycares back home?Maybe we should think of starting a few here and there.

quote:

Are traditional maids really necessary?Are there daycares back home?Maybe we should think of starting a few here and there.

i agree with you, daycares would be much better option than house-helps but the few i have seen start taking kids at a much older age (babies who can walk perhaps after 1 year) and with just 2 months maternity leave, it forces mothers to leave their kids quite early an age that many daycares dont accept. Thats a great business idea, i have always had it in mind someday when i save up enough i will start one

Wa kariuki, i wanted to open one sometimes and upon some research, i found out that most mothers at home cannot afford a daycare, considering that you have to emply enough nannies to give the kids proper care. A maid is paid -+Kshs.3000, she cleans the house, wash and iron clothes, cooks and she is also a security measure in the house and also teachers (some good ones) teaches the kids 1,2,3 and abc...

A daycare would be a great business opportunity and peace of mind to most mother

quote:

Originally posted by Gacheri:
Wa kariuki, i wanted to open one sometimes and upon some research, i found out that most mothers at home cannot afford a daycare, considering that you have to emply enough nannies to give the kids proper care. A maid is paid -+Kshs.3000, she cleans the house, wash and iron clothes, cooks and she is also a security measure in the house and also teachers (some good ones) teaches the kids 1,2,3 and abc...

A daycare would be a great business opportunity and peace of mind to most mother

Gacheri,
Allow me to correct you here: "A daycare would be a great business opportunity and peace of mind to most mother" - not just mother, but father as well.
The greatest joy as a parent is when you get home from work and find the little ones in one piece and peace, you thank God for that. I have heard cases where these girls vent their frustrations on the hapless kids, and also teach them not 1,2,3, but others not so good lessons... That's scaring, very scaring!

Yes, brother, you are correct, its actually peace of mind to most caring and loving parents.
and yes, they could be taught other things, that is why i said "the good ones" I know for most us the safety, sanity and moral standards of our kids/children is not equal to any monetary value.

What is the best way forward in this issue?

quote:

Originally posted by Gacheri:
Yes, brother, you are correct, its actually peace of mind to most caring and loving parents.
and yes, they could be taught other things, that is why i said "the good ones" I know for most us the safety, sanity and moral standards of our kids/children is not equal to any monetary value.

What is the best way forward in this issue?

You can say that again, nothing can be more valuable than what you have mentioned there. So I know if that kind of a day care was to start, many parents would be willing to cough a little more and have peace of mind. The way forward is to do a feasibility study and see the best location to set up this kind of a thing.

quote:

Wa kariuki, i wanted to open one sometimes and upon some research, i found out that most mothers at home cannot afford a daycare, considering that you have to emply enough nannies to give the kids proper care. A maid is paid -+Kshs.3000, she cleans the house, wash and iron clothes, cooks and she is also a security measure in the house and also teachers (some good ones) teaches the kids 1,2,3 and abc...

Gacheri, that was part of my problem, most parents cannot afford coz honestly if we could all afford i think they shouldnt cost anything less than 5k per month coz they are brought in you take care of them, feed them well on a balanced diet do their laundry, potty train them, buy diapers for them, have a nurse around incase of anything, have a teacher, have nannies to babysit and extra hands coz you know some kids can be so fussy etc its quite expensive and agian the other issue is location where its convenient for parents to drop them off easily and pick them up as well, and those kinds of places also cost just as much. if you want a real descent thing, capital is even more expensive coz you have to create a kids friendly atmosphere and i know all parents out there know this isnt very cheap. i still hold that dream, i know it shall come to pass sometime, i know it will be of great benefit to parents out there.

Where there is a dream there is hope, i think the same and i have the same dream and i know it will come to pass too, again some parents do not have transport, so there should be reliable vans to pick and drop the babies, more money, drives, assistant, baby seats and all those nitty grittys which are very important yet very expensive. Then parents will have to go home, cook, clean, iron, do laundry or they have to engage a part-time person to do this once a week, more money. May be we shall meet at the reg.department when we are ready

quote:

Originally posted by Gacheri:
Where there is a dream there is hope, i think the same and i have the same dream and i know it will come to pass too, again some parents do not have transport, so there should be reliable vans to pick and drop the babies, more money, drives, assistant, baby seats and all those nitty grittys which are very important yet very expensive. Then parents will have to go home, cook, clean, iron, do laundry or they have to engage a part-time person to do this once a week, more money. May be we shall meet at the reg.department when we are ready

Great idea that's worth supporting

i think so too. Gacheri, i also wish you well, who knows? maybe we can even see how we can put our resources together and come up with one
i can feel your passion in this and thast a good sign.

Great minds think alike!!!! We need to brain storm more, perhaps off this site, so others wont be bored...ama?

yea, that would be nice. if you have either Ngunjiri's email add or Kihia's you can ask them to give you my email add. or either of them who sees this pls give Gacheri my email add.

I would also be interested in such a project. Please keep me in the loop... Coz i think this is a neglected area, and as we all agree it could be because of the enormous resources needed to support such an idea.... Maybe this is where we can combine our ideas and see if we can work out something