Hi,
Saw this and thought of sharing it with those who love football and the World Cup. Enjoy

Wa Wakuru



WORLD CUP FOOTBALL - LIST OF TV RULES

Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend,

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of
the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding
the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the
conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in
a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times,
without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote
control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make
sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I
wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during
the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require
a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind
if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the
telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It
won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on,
and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come
over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the
TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I
missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my
teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game",
or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things,
you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember,
you will never ever know more about football than me and your so
called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or
divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk
to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only
if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am
saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I
have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again.
Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about
saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the
channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will
be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the
World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words,
because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League,
Spanish League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Nyumba.

I personally had seen it But i could not have shared it with anyone.

Reason being that am:- heheheheheh!!!!!

1.ANTI-SOCCER.
2.NON-SOCCER FAN
3.SOCCER PORALITY TWIN BRO.

But this is very selfish if one is a soccer fundamentalist.

For I don't know tell me, Are all these rules real?!!

As in truly Applicable !!

I wanna know !!

Thayu nyumba.

Wa Wakuru,
That was a nice one. I needed a good laugh and I got it. Though I heve never been a crazy soccer fan, I do not like to be disturbed when an interesting match is going on, and yes, I do not like somebody saying bad thing against the team that I sentimetally support.
Sajini

Sajini,
Hehehehe! I feel you. The most annoying thing is when the team you are supporting is about to score and someone who feels nothing about football (like Ithe wa Joel - hehehehe!) passes infront of the TV!
Personally I love soccer cos I used to play it. It is still my favorite game. I am mourning Arsenal's loss last night to Barcelona and now looking forward to supporting the African Teams in the World Cup.
Ithe wa Joel, this is just a comical view of men and their love for football and there is nothing real in them. But I laughed my head off when I read them. I forwarded them to my wife who had only 2 words for them, "very harsh"! lol!

Ngunjiri
That was a nice one.I love free good quality soccer. only when it is on a free channel like KBC, but I wouldn't go looking for a DSTV pub.
Mazee Barca did not deserve that win. Arsenali had kaliad those guys proper. oops we lost.

@ithe wa joeli,makes you wonder.

Offside Rule Explained to Ladies...

With the World Cup closing in on us...You know that even if the men in your life have NEVER watched a game of football before, they will suddenly become fanatics of a kind heretofore unknown. This is for those of us ladies (who do not watch or play football)... Now we can sit comfortably with the boys and join in with knowledge and understanding when they shout that the player is offside.

The offside rule explained for girls

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other hopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse has *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

There you go!