It's your first time.
As you lie back, your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while
searching for an excuse,
but he refuses to
be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid
and you
shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience, but it's the first
time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver;
your body tenses
but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes
and tells you to trust him
he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you
and you
open wider
to give him more room for an easy entrance.

You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
but he slowly takes his time,
wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer,
going deeper,
you feel the tissue give way;
pain surges throughout your body
and you
feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned
and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears
but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.
He begins going in and out with skill
but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel
something bursting within you
and he pulls it out of you.
You lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you
and smiling warmly,
tells you, with a chuckle that you have been
his most
stubborn
yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist.
After all, it was your first time to have a tooth extraction.

AT HOW ****?
What were you thinkin’?
I know what you were thinking,
because I thought the same thing too!


************************************************************


An Elder was asked to preach in church for a Sunday service sermon, this is how it follows:

Dear brothers and sisters, today I want to talk about a piece of meat.That piece of meat that separates brothers and sisters!!

That piece of meat that causes husbands and wife's to divorce!!

That piece of meat that causes hatred between brothers and sisters!!

That piece of meat that causes women to fight with women, brothers tofight with brothers!!

It is that piece of meat that IS more outside than inside and sometimes more inside than outside!!

Beloved brothers and sisters, IT IS that piece of meat that can give so muchPLEASURE but at the end it brings a lot of PAIN!

It is that piece of meat that, depending on the moods, sometimes it Is long, sometimes it is short.

Beloved brother and sisters, that's the piece of meat I want to talk toyou about.

(I can guess what is going on in your dirty mind now!!!!!!!)

That piece of meat is...........................

The TONGUE, dear brothers and sisters.....the TONGUE!

*********************************************************

Strictly from a mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are
giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
you answer these Questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 2122 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND, look how far the love of God will take you

L-O-V-E- O-F -G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical
certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and
Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that
will put you over the top! It's up to you if you'll
share this with your friends & loved ones just the way
I did.

My story No. 1 & 2 above sounds obscene at the beginning but they are pure and clean jokes. Ndigagikuo uru.

hahahahahahahaha! waweru !

Wagithuri watheka ndona ria gituri.

quote:

Originally posted by waweru:
Wagithuri watheka ndona ria gituri.

ngambite kuhiukirwo ndacoka ndanyta ndeto wega ,no nguire na thituuru

quote:

Originally posted by waweru:
Wagithuri watheka ndona ria gituri.

ngambite kuhiukirwo ndacoka ndanyta ndeto wega ,no nguire na thituuru, hehehehe!

Hi waweru,A friend of mine had sent me the no.1 some months and even b4 i finished it,i was calling him all sorts of names(nuyu utarutaga maitho agikoma)and when I finished I felt ****** to think that way.You caught me!(Shhh I am not evil minded)

quote:

After all, it was your first time to have a tooth extraction.

AT HOW ****?
What were you thinkin’?
I know what you were thinking,
because I thought the same thing too!

IT WASN'T CUZ IT WASNT MY FIRST TIME TO HAVE A TOOTH EXTRACTION!!

quote:

(I can guess what is going on in your dirty mind now!!!!!!!)

That piece of meat is...........................

The TONGUE, dear brothers and sisters.....the TONGUE!

hmm piece of meat..

quote:

OK?

OK!
Waweru, I'm still laughing. That was a nice one.

Hehehehe boy-oh-boy: You got me there too.

I have heard the first two, but they were fun all the same.

But I liked the mathematics one more, because I am a dwarf in maths. I am learning

quote:

You caught me!(Shhh I am not evil minded)

haaaaaiii - ok sisemi kitu hehehehehe!!!