MURPHY’S LAW
Murphy was an optimist.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Leak-proof seals – will.
Self starters – will not.
Interchangeable parts – won’t
There is always one more bug.
Nature is a mother.
Do not mess with Mrs. Murphy!
90% of everything is crud.
If you’re feeling good, don’t worry, you’ll get over it.
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.




Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit.
Never eat prunes when you are famished.
Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
If you try to please everybody then nobody will like it.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
The chance of a piece of bread falling on the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
No one’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.