Are you a real Kenyan?



How to know a Kenyan …



1. If you suddenly stop on the street and point at the sky, they will all stop and look.



2. If someone is being mugged they will not help him but will stop, make sure they get all the drama and then go and tell their pals.



3. They will refuse to enter an empty matatu and enter an overloaded one because the overloaded one won’t stop to pick passengers.



4. They will suddenly acquire a tweng when talking to a mzungu.



5. When they go to the States or Brito for 3 months they come back with a

tweng but when they go to India for 5 years they do not come back with an Indian accent.



6. They all know a public figure personally.



7. They drive at 30km/hour when it is raining.



8. They abandon their cars in the middle of the road when scratched by another car and wait for the cop to come and view the accident scene (a scratch only!)



9. It is manly to have spent a night or two in a police cell and cool to have a criminal record.



10. The chicks under dress in cold weather and overdress in hot weather and the jamaas over dress in all kinds of weather.



11. All Kenyans have shaken the president's hand!



12. They rush home at 7.00p.m.or 9.00p.m. to watch news which they follow like a soap opera eg. This sizzling story that ran for a week; Raila versus Mungatana:

>Monday – Raila: I am an old guard in the game of politics these young people don't know what they are saying.

>Tuesday – Mungatana: If Raila eats mbuta from Lake Victoria let him know I also eat crocodiles from Tana river.

>Wednesday – Raila: When a dog is barking at you, you tell it's master to call it off

>Thursday – Mungatana: Let Raila know that I am also a man and I can impregnate a woman with twins.

>Friday – Raila: Mungatana and I are the best of friends, his father and I knew each other for a long time

>Saturday – Mungatana: Raila is like a father to me and in fact he is my god-father in politics

>Sunday - Mungatana (at a rally with other coast mp's): We are calling for the sacking of Raila.

>Same Sunday – Raila: It is not Mungatana who sacks ministers. That boy was in nappies when I was a lecturer at the university. It is only the president who can sack me..........

..........and the drama continues.



> >If you have examined yourself and are lacking in all of these qualities, then you are loosing your Kenyan touch and you need to pull up your socks

If I went to India to learn Hindi I would like to talk it like the Indians do. If I live in England or the US I will talk English the way they do it. You know how frustrating it is when you say something and you always have to repeat it coz poeple donot understand you.The whole idea of talking is to communicate and if putting on an accent does it why not. I can now pronouce L and R.

But why haven't I heard anyone coming from India talking like Indians do and why do I hear so many pple coming from the US and UK talking like the pple there?

Just a question.

quote:

Originally posted by Ngunjiri wa Wakuru:
But why haven't I heard anyone coming from India talking like Indians do and why do I hear so many pple coming from the US and UK talking like the pple there?

Just a question.

And to add on this...
Why don't the Wazungus who come to Kenya talk Sheng, or speak Kiswahili with the pwani accent?

The reason for many people change how they speak especially in English is because you want to be understood by the person you are speaking to. For people in Uk or US. This two places are first paced and you might be left out if people do not let people know what you are talking about. Eventually we end up having a cute accent, not that we hate our own(Kenyan) and like theirs(American/UK)(we create our own) Isn't that fun!
I don't know about India since I have not been there, but i would probably guess that, Indian people speak other languages just like we do and so English is not their first. I believe there are indians just like Kenyans who are curious as to why when Indian people come to US/UK also change the way they pronounce some English words. So for everybody, it just has to do with us wanting to be able to communicate with each other. I have to agree with you Mwaura.

quote:

And to add on this...
Why don't the Wazungus who come to Kenya talk Sheng, or speak Kiswahili with the pwani accent?

I bet if they had to, they would. However,the Swahili they learn is just to get them by or around kenya while they are having fun. So it is not like they really need to learn how to speak and tweng in Swahili. For us, we really need to speak English and be understood inorder for life to continue(quite unfair but it is the way it is)

Kaswiti,

Does your answer also explain why as I had said before I have never heard anyone "twenging" when s/he comes from say India or Pakistan?

quote:

Does your answer also explain why as I had said before I have never heard anyone "twenging" when s/he comes from say India or Pakistan?

I think so Wa Wakuru. When they go to India, It is just like that mzungu who goes to Mombasa. They can decide if they want to tweng the Indian or Pakistan since it is not an absolute for them to communicate using those languages spoken in those countries as it is English.

I would think the reason why we don't get an Indian, Pakistani etc... accent is because we don't go there with the intention of learning their languages, they as us Kenyans are primarily interested in improving their English, you only want the best when it comes to the international language, English.

to be quite honest with ourselves, the 'funny' accents that people take back home are used to show off.why does ngugi wa thiongo still have the kikuyu accent after 20 years?i think that no matter what language you learn you can still talk each language the way its supposed to be done!no need kujigonga kifua!!you look like a fool!!!!

I think it is only fair if we try to understand these people who live abroad UK/US with compassion NOT contempt. I have someone who has lived in US for well over 10years now and when I speak to her in kikuyu she will speak perfect kikuyu. Similarly when I speak to her in sheng, she will speak sheng like someone who has never left the country (apart from ofcoz her sheng will be outdated). But when I speak to her in English, boy she will tweng mpaka you wonder whether you are watching an American comedy.
I understand that she has to speak English that way in US in order for her to be understood by the people there.
What I would find to be ridiculous is some fellows trying to speak Kiswahili or Sheng with the acquired accent.
Maze nipatie “my-g” instead of maji OR “high burry guy knee”? Instead of habari gain?! Ukiwaona wao! Heheheheh!

Eeeh! Rishadi waambie, ukiwaona hao, ukiwaona hao, waambie wavute pumzi! lol! Yenyewe that kind of twenging is totally ridiculous. I have even met guys who will be out for say 2 years and Kiswahili becomes suddenly a foreign language. Shindwe!

quote:

Are you a real Kenyan?



How to know a Kenyan …



1. If you suddenly stop on the street and point at the sky, they will all stop and look.



2. If someone is being mugged they will not help him but will stop, make sure they get all the drama and then go and tell their pals.



3. They will refuse to enter an empty matatu and enter an overloaded one because the overloaded one won’t stop to pick passengers.



4. They will suddenly acquire a tweng when talking to a mzungu.



5. When they go to the States or Brito for 3 months they come back with a

tweng but when they go to India for 5 years they do not come back with an Indian accent.



6. They all know a public figure personally.



7. They drive at 30km/hour when it is raining.



8. They abandon their cars in the middle of the road when scratched by another car and wait for the cop to come and view the accident scene (a scratch only!)



9. It is manly to have spent a night or two in a police cell and cool to have a criminal record.



10. The chicks under dress in cold weather and overdress in hot weather and the jamaas over dress in all kinds of weather.



11. All Kenyans have shaken the president's hand!



12. They rush home at 7.00p.m.or 9.00p.m. to watch news which they follow like a soap opera eg. This sizzling story that ran for a week; Raila versus Mungatana:

>Monday – Raila: I am an old guard in the game of politics these young people don't know what they are saying.

>Tuesday – Mungatana: If Raila eats mbuta from Lake Victoria let him know I also eat crocodiles from Tana river.

>Wednesday – Raila: When a dog is barking at you, you tell it's master to call it off

>Thursday – Mungatana: Let Raila know that I am also a man and I can impregnate a woman with twins.

>Friday – Raila: Mungatana and I are the best of friends, his father and I knew each other for a long time

>Saturday – Mungatana: Raila is like a father to me and in fact he is my god-father in politics

>Sunday - Mungatana (at a rally with other coast mp's): We are calling for the sacking of Raila.

>Same Sunday – Raila: It is not Mungatana who sacks ministers. That boy was in nappies when I was a lecturer at the university. It is only the president who can sack me..........

..........and the drama continues.



> >If you have examined yourself and are lacking in all of these qualities, then you are loosing your Kenyan touch and you need to pull up your socks

interesting