Everyday i watch people with kids, young and old and i have never felt like having one of my own.I dont even like holding babies,so i definately cant imagine an "alien" in my body (am not being to hard, am i?)

I do want to get married one day and have a loving husband but no kids. No love for them.

If i got it right; God did not say that it was compulsory to have children so its ok for me to be the last with my DNA strand
People talk..they say all sorts of things but i will not have kids because of "empty" talk.

Its worse when i see a woman with more than 5 kids.I think its perfectly normal be a woman with no kids.it just worries me that my husband could get another woman.then i think again about marriage

i dont want to have kids cuz of a man, parents, or any other reason, well,maybe for God i would do it.
cant i live happily ever after without kids?

Maria!

Happy New Year! Missed u gal!

To quote you:
‘Everyday i watch people with kids, young and old and i have never felt like having one of my own.I dont even like holding babies,so i definately cant imagine an "alien" in my body (am not being to hard, am i?)’

Alien?! I thinks that's a bit harsh... a kid in the mother's womb is the most lovely feeling ever. Knowing that there is part of you, growing in you, feeling it every day as it kicks....

Actually the issue of getting kids is ultimately a very private and personal decision.
In my opinion, procreation is destined by nature whether one believes in divine creation or in science.
Procreation determines continuity of life for humans, animals, plants and other organisms. It just follows that humans have a superior mind that they can use to make choices of when, how many, children to have or not to have at all.
These choices are made based on as many diverse reasons as there are stars in the sky. The obvious ones of course are issues like financial capability to rear the children.

However, coming closer to your view, I think only time will tell. You may find that as you become older, your maternal instincts may grow with an affinity towrds the desire to have children.
Personally, i love kids and I would love to have a football team (if only i had the finances) and support. I just love large families and i believe that i can share my love amongst as many children. All the same, instead of getting my own, there are so many needy children out there that i can take care of instead.

As i said, its pretty personal.
There are people who choose not to have kids at all and they reach old age without any.

My personal experience though is that kids add quality to their parents life. They give you a purpose to live (or they add to it), they bring you joy....its such a great feeling to know that you are responsible for another life...growing in you, nurturing it...its complete bliss and such a blessing to be able to parent as best as you can. Gives one complete satisfaction....

I could go on and on....

Take your time, discuss it with the king of your heart and voila!...you will know eventually when you are ready.
It may help to start spending time with children, i find that we can also learn a lot just from the nature of children for their minds are unspoilt and in them you can almost see the true essence of what human beings are supposed to be like..

Children....love them!


Ngima.

Ngima,
welcome back my sister. how was it,did you have fun?
i missed you too.i sent you mail!!

Yeah maybe time will change me.And if it doesnt,i dunno. Really all this kicking the belly and cramps,...its not for me.Thank you for sharing.My mum has a basketball team haha ..and she loves it.

Oh boy,its not easy being a woman!
I'll try to find that love for children in me.but...i still dunno.
The king of my heart:redface: ...haha yeah we will talk,when he comes around.I dont think i've seen him yet.

Ngima,we talk more about this in private. Maybe I am missing something.

Ni ngatho, mwari wa maitu.
Thayu

Wairimu witu,

You got a long time to go...dont fret. You'll know when the time comes.

So you are a silver member now.... cant say am not envious! Congrats!

Ngima

ow its nothing Ngima.
if you love to talk...talk..one day you'll realise you are platinum member.
at first i was just being stubborn,trying to see whether i could get there and then i did..and now..it doesnt matter any more. its about asking questions and answering and joking. Ngunjiri is almost GOLD MEMBER!!wow..way to go!
its even easier for you Ngima,you know swahili and kikuyu so you can reply to many posts.You are going to tripple my posts in no time.

You really are a sister Ngima. Thank you. I have 2 sisters but 1 more wouldnt hurt

Maria,
Time heals all. Give yourself time and you will be surprised how youu will change to a kid-loving person. It's not forced, it just come naturally. Once the motherly/fatherly insticts set in, you will not resist them!

quote:

Originally posted by Maria:
Everyday i watch people with kids, young and old and i have never felt like having one of my own.I dont even like holding babies,so i definately cant imagine an "alien" in my body (am not being to hard, am i?)

I do want to get married one day and have a loving husband but no kids. No love for them.

If i got it right; God did not say that it was compulsory to have children so its ok for me to be the last with my DNA strand
People talk..they say all sorts of things but i will not have kids because of "empty" talk.

Its worse when i see a woman with more than 5 kids.I think its perfectly normal be a woman with no kids.it just worries me that my husband could get another woman.then i think again about marriage

i dont want to have kids cuz of a man, parents, or any other reason, well,maybe for God i would do it.
cant i live happily ever after without kids?

Your questions and fears makes lots of sense.
I believe is very nice to have a kid or kids though. Maybe not five, but one or two.
It seems to make you complete somehow. It makes the woman and man complete as well, as a couple. It gives you a new vision of life and you also bring new life to this planet.
But there are a loads of buts. All those things about trust, for example.
One of the parent or both failing in this full life assignement of having kids. I have recently seen a woman who failed totally as a mother. Usually it's the men who fail, right. And when a parent fail. Unforgivable to the kid and to mankind.
I fully respect those couples that decide to not have any kids. There are so many kids in this world anyway.
Yada yada.
It will be interesting to see if you change your mind when you find the right man.
Keep us posted!

Maria uhoro waku?
as the discussion runs on whether it is neccessary to have kids or not, I tend to believe sooner or later you will have the need to have kids. and and when this comes consider the following points they may be useful in one way or the other.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their?
1.Methods of discipline.
2.Lack of patience.
3.Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4.Allowing their children to run wild.
Let them Suggest ways in which you might improve your child breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Haro ni ya muka uri ihii!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Wakarima,

quote:

It will be interesting to see if you change your mind when you find the right man.
Keep us posted!

yeah, it will be something now,wont it?

Wakarima, ndi muhoro. ni mwega.

quote:

I tend to believe sooner or later you will have the need to have kids.

am not quite sure about this. "need"?

quote:

1.Methods of discipline.
2.Lack of patience.
3.Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4.Allowing their children to run wild.
Let them Suggest ways in which you might improve your child breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

uhuh..its good you said,"when the time comes". its not yet here.

Maria I think I you should know that "There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult".

Haro ni ya muka uri ihii!

I'll keep that in mind,wakarima. Its not that i find it difficult...there is no love. ever looked at a beautiful girl and thats all you did? never thought of having her or something? thats what happens with me and kids.and i dont want to just do it for the sake of "completing my life".

Ok but keep trying Sister&

Haro ni ya muka uri ihii!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Wakarima:
Maria I think I you should know that "There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult".

Oooh Maria*
Am so sore to read that you dont comply with kids, I suspect that it's a matter of psychological affects with you.

I love kids more than Jesus.

MpigaKura,
Some ambiguity here: do you mean you love kids more than Jesus loved them or you love kids more than you love Jesus?

quote:

I love kids more than Jesus.

I love kids too. They're such lovely little human beings who are so innocent! I remember when we were expecting our first born and we went for ultra sound scan (not to know the gender!) and that scanner was put on and I heard the baby breath and the heart beat, I felt like shedding a tear! It was so fulfilling I could not wait to see the baby!

i agree with you Ngunjiri, i also have a daughter and i know being a mother is the most amazing thing that happened to me!! for some guys that feeling grows with time others just never have the maternal instincts and however hard they try they keep failing at it.