This is the story of Tommy, for that is what we shall call my best friend. Tommy is my very close pal and a life time truted friend We have shared life from boyhood escapades right to our first dates, jobs,relationships,marriage etc. Tommy is my drinking pal too, he is the kind of guy I would confess to if io got a mistress or is missus is too mean. the reason for telling Tommy's story is to solicit comment as well as to inform.

I will use the fisrt person singular to tell the true (only names altered) story.

I am Tommy the first born in my family and only son of my father, I was born and brought up in a place called Rwaka in the enviroins of Nairobi.
My father was a man of average means and managed to get me into one of the best colleges in Kenya, from where I launched my carrer as a finance professional. I am doing fairly well as a chief financial officer of a regional manufacturer.

About 10 years agoat a collugues bachelors party i met a lady who was a great friend of a collegues wife. I was greatly attracted and consequently got my colleague to make introductions. I Pursued the lady till a relationship developed. It turned out that the lady is a daughter to a ruthless Nyeri entreprenuer. The lady the persuaded her father to put her in a collge near my work place and we truly painted the town red. As a consequence the lady got pregnant from where we agreed to get married and did the neccesary ceremonies.
Our married relationship turned very frustrating as the lady kept disappearing to her parents home at the slightest provocation. We made numerous trips to get her from her parents home and every three or so months she would go back.
At this time i was working in middle level management, could make ends meet but could not afford luxuries. The lady was very materialistic and would be unwellcoming whenever i could not give her enough money.
One day after about five years i got retrenched from my job, after two or so months of squandering my severeance pay the woman disappeared to her father's again with both children. I was left hopless and turnd to alcohol, I became a serious drunkard and would sell property to drown my sorrows in alcohol my life really deteroriated. After about two years I learnt that my now estraged wife was seeing a very wealthy lawyer in her home town. I gathered busfare and went to try and persuade her back, she treated me well even bought a court and ashirt for me but no sooner had i left than she went back.
I eventually got an average job and decided to re-establish my now broken family she actually threw me out and asked me to keep of. Throughout this time she and my children were enjoying this mans wealth though secretly hoping for reconcilliation I kept off and worked on my careers and suceeded. I took custody of children and let the two enjoy themselves.
That is half of the story.

Now the normally jovial Tommy became all withdrawn and i had to enquire what is the matter, i took him to a quiet corner and after two beers he said

Recently i was approached by a brother in law with news that my ex wife had parted with the lawyer friend, and that she would be amenable if i would approach her for a reconcilliation. For the sake of the kids at home i decided to make an attempt at reconcilliation. True she was very cooperatve to the point of comming to see the children at home.

After several visits I insisted that we do a HIV test hers came + mine - I got the shock of my life. I hold family values strongly and intend my kids to be brought up in a family setting my dilema is this

1. Whether to make the mother forfeit the children
2. whether to live with the mother in the same house with no sexual relations.
3. To move out and live the kids with the mother.
What to do

Those are the questions Tommy asked me. I could not answer him truly without asking him to sacrifice his family for himself or vice versa. What would be the right thing to do?

Mathenge I think Tommy would be just plain foolish to take this woman back. After all she has put him through, not to mention put the kids through, and he's still considering having that HIV+ malaya in his life????!!!??? Or what do you call a woman who follows men for their money?

Ngai!! Korwo ni nii iyo ngiti ingirara nja ta rori!! Mathenge, please tell Tommy to get back to his senses....Keep those nice kids and return that gold digger to her rich father in Nyeri. Niathii agakuire kwa ithe!!

And by the way Mathenge, I think you are Tommy.

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Ngai!! Korwo ni nii iyo ngiti ingirara nja ta rori!! Mathenge, please tell Tommy to get back to his senses....Keep those nice kids and return that gold digger to her rich father in Nyeri. Niathii agakuire kwa ithe!!

And by the way Mathenge, I think you are Tommy.

Hi gutiri ururu utonuo. Whoever Tommy is this just get rid of emotions and see the facts for what they are. That woman has ditched and gone with another man. So what do you have to do with her?

General tell you friend! the woman is DAMAGED GOODS ! Luckily for him he is still GOOD MONEY let him get a decent lady.


Wakini onakoruo niwe Ayanu kaba undu ungi gukira mumaraya nyumba ekunina iondo ciaku ciothe na wathaka akurehere murimu mukue unyueri mutige icio ciana ophanage

No no no no.

Take her back!

Do not discriminate HIV+ people. Treat them well. If I was you, I'd forgive her completely. I'd welcome her back with open arms. Who knows, she may even agree to sex with a condom. HIV is not a death sentence, you know!

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Do not discriminate HIV+ people. Treat them well. If I was you, I'd forgive her completely. I'd welcome her back with open arms. Who knows, she may even agree to sex with a condom. HIV is not a death sentence, you know!

To me the issue is not the HIV, but the grab what you can attitude. The guy has been ditched now she is comming on a rebound and.... loaded!

Man life is not for joking. I would choose to be a monk than be with a lady of such character.

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Originally posted by Muhuthia:

quote:

Do not discriminate HIV+ people. Treat them well. If I was you, I'd forgive her completely. I'd welcome her back with open arms. Who knows, she may even agree to sex with a condom. HIV is not a death sentence, you know!

To me the issue is not the HIV, but the grab what you can attitude. The guy has been ditched now she is comming on a rebound and.... loaded!

Man life is not for joking. I would choose to be a monk than be with a lady of such character.

But you married her for better or worse. At least she is sorry.

"....But you married her for better or worse. At least she is sorry."


Ati she's sorry???????...Wamax, I can tell from your posts on this topic that you're very young. Thikiriria muriu and don't take this the wrong way...but you are too naive. You've got alot of things to learn about women, and life.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Muru wa Wangui,

Wamax suffice to say if a ersonality is flawed, there is pretty little your forgiveness can achieve.

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Tommy,
take the lady back to her dad and have the kids visit her as often as she may want. Its the best you can do.
Wamax, Ati sex with a condom?? we no utishe?

I have thought about this issue and I am still ambivalent.

Wamax has a point, but it requires an extraordinarily brave person to make make such a decision. Tommy needs to sit down and ponder the course of his future relationship with the wife, or ex-wife. If he feels he can withstand the what the whole package holds, then he can take her back (this is the most appropriate choice).

My fellow Wazee, let me ask you this, Tommy's wife is one of the few cases of reverse evil-doer. In most cases, it i sthe male who kave a gachungwa outthere and they bring the 'evil gift' to their wives, and their wives perservere.

Kama hawezi kuvumilia mateke, then, he should come up with an alternative plan.

The issue here is what Tommy's conscience tells him. It cannot be wrong.

Sajini and Wamax ur very right. People are quick to judge and forget to remove the speck in their own eyes. If your married thats what for BETTER or for WORSE stands for. Two wrongs never made a right.
If it was a man who made that blunder, would the woman be expected to forgive him??? Ofcourse society expects that she should, but when the reverse happens all hell breaks loose. Sad sad situations

I now think it all depends on the effect this woman would have on Tommy's life. If she is repentant Tommy should just borrow a chastity belt from Bishop Ndingi and take her back.

my take is if the lady left coz i wasn't stable then it means in the first time she had not come in to be with me for better or worse coz she left when i was broke for a rich jamaa,so why should i take her back and the fact that all these time i was faithful hoping she will come back only for her to go out and dish out MY CAKE!!
CANT TAKE HER BACK,LEA WATOTO!!.

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And by the way Mathenge, I think you are Tommy.

I am the president of the bachelors brigade in my district.

Tommy has disappeared to live alone but will support wife and kids.